30th January, 2008
I got a lift to the hospital this morning, feeling a bit nervous but keen to get lump removed. Arrived at 0800, and after whirlwind of assessment, I meet my breast surgeon who was going to have such an influence in my life.
She examined me and looked at my ultrasound report from November 2007, "Show me where the lump is," she asked. I showed her, and she answered, "I think this lump feels bigger than those estimations in November." Thought it was just my imagination but obviously not, it had felt like it was getting a bit bigger but thought I was being paranoid. "Well, we'll get you sorted out very soon, don't worry." What a lovely woman.
Operation done, not too stressful - just stinging like mad where the lump used to be. They leave me to get dressed behind curtain. I disobeyed the rules in the information sheet and put my bra back on, I can't walk round without a bra!! Not with my 36F boobies! They've left my medical notes on the locker next to the bed.....shall I sneak a peak? Wouldn't you?
Flick through quickly quickly, the nurse might be back any minute..... Ah, operation notes. It's a good job I know what I'm looking for. Blah, blah, blah, lump excised (taken out for those without medical brain) sent for URGENT HISTOLOGY. Should have been worried but must have had foggy brain and I never give it a second thought. Nurse back now, having tea, toast and painkillers whilst waiting for my Husband to fetch me.
Finally, Husband here - he didn't want to have the day off work just to wait around so he's come straight from work. And he's bought a WHEELCHAIR!!! "They told me over the phone to bring it!!!" he said. Can't believe I've got to be taken to the car with a wheelchair!!! I'm not ill or anything. So, he wheels me to the car, I'm so hoping I won't see anyone I know.
"Never thought I'd see the day when I would push you in a wheelchair," my Husband remarked. Little did we know where today would lead.
Friday 30 January 2009
Friday 23 January 2009
The Beginning...
Well, after being inspired to create an online blog from many other bloggers out there, and also the need to share my story, I now feel ready to put pen to paper (you know what I mean!). I have been encouraged to complete a diary of my experiences since the beginning but have never felt quite ready or strong enough to do so but as the anniversary of diagnosis is looming, I feel that the time is right to reflect.
I can clearly remember finding the lump that started this whole episode in my life, August bank holiday 2007. We had been doing heavy work in the garden - the royal 'we' of course! - and I just happened to brush my hands down my chest and found the lump on the outer edges of my left breast. Can't believe it, there's a lump a definate lump! Got my husband to check, (not yet married!) definate lump and his first words were, "You're too young to have breast cancer". I was 25 at the time. Brave face on, had a shower and sobbed and begged a silent prayer as the occasional believer that I was, please let this be ok.
It's now October 2007. Been to GP's twice, now got referred to breast clinic but feel that I can't quite relax yet about it all yet until I've got the complete answer. Paranoid you might think but it's that quest for the answer that may ultimately save my life. Heavy stuff I know but it is serious concerns even though the stats for breast cancer at my age is 1:16,000. It's October and time is ticking away to our wedding.
Just attended my ultrasound appointment. So many people are reassuring me that it's OK, it's a common occurrence for breast lumps to be found in younger women. Ultrasound found 'high probability of benign fibroadenoma' and as I get upset with the worry, I ask the Dr the results there and then. It's only 2 weeks to our wedding and scared to the know the answer but he reassures me that it looked fine. "What were my intentions regarding the lump?" he asked. I want it out, I want to be sure it's gone. "That's fine," he said, "Speak to the surgeon at the outpatients review."
I can clearly remember finding the lump that started this whole episode in my life, August bank holiday 2007. We had been doing heavy work in the garden - the royal 'we' of course! - and I just happened to brush my hands down my chest and found the lump on the outer edges of my left breast. Can't believe it, there's a lump a definate lump! Got my husband to check, (not yet married!) definate lump and his first words were, "You're too young to have breast cancer". I was 25 at the time. Brave face on, had a shower and sobbed and begged a silent prayer as the occasional believer that I was, please let this be ok.
It's now October 2007. Been to GP's twice, now got referred to breast clinic but feel that I can't quite relax yet about it all yet until I've got the complete answer. Paranoid you might think but it's that quest for the answer that may ultimately save my life. Heavy stuff I know but it is serious concerns even though the stats for breast cancer at my age is 1:16,000. It's October and time is ticking away to our wedding.
Just attended my ultrasound appointment. So many people are reassuring me that it's OK, it's a common occurrence for breast lumps to be found in younger women. Ultrasound found 'high probability of benign fibroadenoma' and as I get upset with the worry, I ask the Dr the results there and then. It's only 2 weeks to our wedding and scared to the know the answer but he reassures me that it looked fine. "What were my intentions regarding the lump?" he asked. I want it out, I want to be sure it's gone. "That's fine," he said, "Speak to the surgeon at the outpatients review."
I've thanked my lucky stars, angels and everything else since then that I never knew the truth then. Our wedding day spoilt with sadness, illness, looks from those around you with that sympathetic look in their eyes that I grew to despise. But that never happened, I was happily took up on the whirlwind of the wedding, the beautiful happiness that ensued on our honeymoon in Scotland and our lovely wedded bliss. So glad we had just 3 months of that, at least the cancer didn't rob us of that.
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