30th January, 2008
I got a lift to the hospital this morning, feeling a bit nervous but keen to get lump removed. Arrived at 0800, and after whirlwind of assessment, I meet my breast surgeon who was going to have such an influence in my life.
She examined me and looked at my ultrasound report from November 2007, "Show me where the lump is," she asked. I showed her, and she answered, "I think this lump feels bigger than those estimations in November." Thought it was just my imagination but obviously not, it had felt like it was getting a bit bigger but thought I was being paranoid. "Well, we'll get you sorted out very soon, don't worry." What a lovely woman.
Operation done, not too stressful - just stinging like mad where the lump used to be. They leave me to get dressed behind curtain. I disobeyed the rules in the information sheet and put my bra back on, I can't walk round without a bra!! Not with my 36F boobies! They've left my medical notes on the locker next to the bed.....shall I sneak a peak? Wouldn't you?
Flick through quickly quickly, the nurse might be back any minute..... Ah, operation notes. It's a good job I know what I'm looking for. Blah, blah, blah, lump excised (taken out for those without medical brain) sent for URGENT HISTOLOGY. Should have been worried but must have had foggy brain and I never give it a second thought. Nurse back now, having tea, toast and painkillers whilst waiting for my Husband to fetch me.
Finally, Husband here - he didn't want to have the day off work just to wait around so he's come straight from work. And he's bought a WHEELCHAIR!!! "They told me over the phone to bring it!!!" he said. Can't believe I've got to be taken to the car with a wheelchair!!! I'm not ill or anything. So, he wheels me to the car, I'm so hoping I won't see anyone I know.
"Never thought I'd see the day when I would push you in a wheelchair," my Husband remarked. Little did we know where today would lead.
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Hi Kate, I've read with interest your posts so far, I too have suffereed from cancer so can relate very well to the feelings you talk about. When its first confirmed you suddenly find yourself in a different world. Everyone and everything is the same and carrying on as normal and whilst you're there you no long feel part of it, or at least thats how it was like for me. I think its something that you have to experience to fully understand. I will look forward to reading more of what you write. Bob.
ReplyDeleteWow - what an emotional read your online blog makes. I can only imagine how cancer has changed your life but thank god you're here to tell the tale! Look forward to the next entry, Rosie x
ReplyDeleteHi Kate, it is very casual to say, 'you would be fine.' So I do not dare to be casual to an original thinker like you. You have an inborn determination and wisdom to face the realities of life. Do not ever live in the fear the diseases coming back…if you do so you are not being free...only in fearless phases and situations in life can we achieve anything healing...may your future reactions, actions and omissions be supported by bravery of the heart. I have read your postings with interest and prayerful thoughts flowing towards you that you would be able to defeat the veiling blots in your life...
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